Welcome to This Isn’t Top Scallops, a Top Chef fantasy league! This page will be home to the league’s rules, draft summary, episode-by-episode recaps, advanced metrics, and assorted memes.

Special credit to Janet for assisting with creating the rules and visualizations!

Week 1 Recap

It’s great to be back! This was a very exciting first episode that saw the all-stars compete in a mise en place relay Quickfire outside Griffith Observatory and a fire-only Elimination Challenge on the beach. Some of the contestants came out of the gate running (Gregory, Melissa), while others looked rusty in their first challenges back (Lee Anne, Kevin).

Special shout-out to Bryan Voltaggio’s elimination challenge dish, which takes the “I guess you need to taste it IRL because it really looks terrible and that’s the fundamental flaw with cooking shows on TV” prize of the week.

Here is this week’s recap of winners, losers, and our standings so far.

Current Standings

After 1 week, here’s are the current standings. This counts everyone’s earned Episode Scores and projects Ranking Scores based on who’s been eliminated.

Current Standing Team Members Projected Final Score Total Episode Points Final Ranking Points Lost Scaled Episode Points Scaled Final Ranking Points
1st Dead Meat Elsa Voytas 0.86 45 0 0.71 1.00
2nd Screaming 4 Acid (Hosea Fucking Sucks) Chris Issa 0.72 55 8 1.00 0.43
3rd Let the Beet Drop Katya Myagkova 0.68 55 9 1.00 0.36
4th It’s Fucking RAW! Maddy Kornhauser 0.67 47 6 0.77 0.57
5th Padma Wannabe Divya Khandke 0.67 42 4 0.63 0.71
6th Churn Up Natasha Tabachnikoff 0.66 46 6 0.74 0.57
7th Unlimited Breadsticks Jackie Weidman 0.66 39 3 0.54 0.79
8th Take Me to Flavor Town Claire Jaffe 0.64 50 8 0.86 0.43
9th Bitch Better Have My Honey Janet Xu 0.62 48 8 0.80 0.43
10th Beets by Dre Tiffany Hudson / Steven 0.60 45 7 0.71 0.50
11th The Gouda Lyfe Tobin Stuff 0.59 51 10 0.89 0.29
12th G-Ada at Home Ada Rustow 0.58 28 1 0.23 0.93
13th Wake Me Up Before You Go-Gurt Eugene Chong 0.53 50 11 0.86 0.21
14th Idiot Sandwich Sarah Mandell 0.48 46 11 0.74 0.21
15th Tom Bready Gracie Himmelstein 0.43 40 10 0.57 0.29
16th Jackson “Eddie” Fratesi Jackson Fratesi 0.42 49 14 0.83 0.00
17th Spice, Spice Baby! Jane Christen / Kelsey Edelen 0.39 25 5 0.14 0.64
18th The IncrEDIBLES Emily Blanton / Stephen Dillon 0.38 47 14 0.77 0.00
19th High Steaks Emma Dries 0.38 42 12 0.63 0.14
20th Martha Chewart Kate Dries 0.33 33 10 0.37 0.29
21st Quarantine? I Thought You Said Florentine! Hilary Clifford / Sam Blobaum 0.32 35 11 0.43 0.21
22nd Top Shelf Curry Amie Patel 0.31 29 9 0.26 0.36
23rd Chips Don’t Lie Jia Yuan / Joyce Liu 0.20 29 12 0.26 0.14
24th NiNi Leeks Sherry Cao 0.10 20 11 0.00 0.21

Quickfire

The red team won with two dishes: a delicious char-grilled artichoke with tahini and a chewy-but-tasty-looking artichoke tortellono.

Winner: No one winner was announced.

🔥 🏆

🤷🏼

Honorable Mentions: Melissa, Joe, Jamie, Kevin, and Bryan

🔥 🥈

Winning Dishes

Elimination Challenge

Winner: Gregory!

👩‍🍳 🏆

Honorable Mentions: Stephanie and Jamie on the winning team. Melissa and Jen also got special shout-outs from the judges.

👩‍🍳 🥈

Eliminated:

☠️

Winning Dishes

Losing Dish

Episode Score

The top 3 scorers in points for this episode are Let the Beet Drop, Screaming 4 Acid (Hosea Fucking Sucks), and The Gouda Lyfe.

Here are the overall standings in Episode Score after the first episode.

Ranking Score

We won’t know the final Ranking Scores until the season is over, but we can get a sense of how people are doing based on where they ranked contestants that have already been eliminated (notwithstanding possible Last Chance Kitchen comebacks).

Incredibly, Elsa, who has never seen Top Chef, but admittedly loves gambling, is the only one to have guessed this week’s loser. She leads in this category.

Here’s where things stand currently.

Team Breakdowns

Lastly, here’s a look at how everyone’s team is doing after Week 1.

Team Members First Place 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 Last Place
Beets by Dre Tiffany Hudson / Steven Kevin Gillespie Gregory Gourdet Lisa Fernandes Angelo Sosa Bryan Voltaggio Lee Anne Wong Jennifer Carroll Joe Sasto Jamie Lynch Eric Adjepong Nini Nguyen Stephanie Cmar Melissa King Brian Malarkey Karen Akunowicz
Bitch Better Have My Honey Janet Xu Gregory Gourdet Bryan Voltaggio Nini Nguyen Eric Adjepong Kevin Gillespie Melissa King Joe Sasto Karen Akunowicz Stephanie Cmar Lee Anne Wong Angelo Sosa Jamie Lynch Jennifer Carroll Brian Malarkey Lisa Fernandes
Chips Don’t Lie Jia Yuan / Joyce Liu Stephanie Cmar Lisa Fernandes Joe Sasto Bryan Voltaggio Melissa King Brian Malarkey Angelo Sosa Jamie Lynch Lee Anne Wong Kevin Gillespie Nini Nguyen Karen Akunowicz Gregory Gourdet Eric Adjepong Jennifer Carroll
Churn Up Natasha Tabachnikoff Stephanie Cmar Bryan Voltaggio Gregory Gourdet Karen Akunowicz Eric Adjepong Brian Malarkey Kevin Gillespie Jennifer Carroll Joe Sasto Melissa King Lisa Fernandes Nini Nguyen Lee Anne Wong Jamie Lynch Angelo Sosa
Dead Meat Elsa Voytas Bryan Voltaggio Gregory Gourdet Stephanie Cmar Karen Akunowicz Angelo Sosa Lee Anne Wong Jennifer Carroll Eric Adjepong Melissa King Kevin Gillespie Nini Nguyen Lisa Fernandes Jamie Lynch Brian Malarkey Joe Sasto
G-Ada at Home Ada Rustow Lisa Fernandes Nini Nguyen Melissa King Eric Adjepong Jennifer Carroll Karen Akunowicz Gregory Gourdet Lee Anne Wong Angelo Sosa Stephanie Cmar Jamie Lynch Kevin Gillespie Bryan Voltaggio Joe Sasto Brian Malarkey
High Steaks Emma Dries Eric Adjepong Nini Nguyen Joe Sasto Bryan Voltaggio Gregory Gourdet Kevin Gillespie Jennifer Carroll Melissa King Jamie Lynch Lee Anne Wong Angelo Sosa Karen Akunowicz Brian Malarkey Stephanie Cmar Lisa Fernandes
Idiot Sandwich Sarah Mandell Gregory Gourdet Karen Akunowicz Bryan Voltaggio Joe Sasto Angelo Sosa Eric Adjepong Kevin Gillespie Melissa King Stephanie Cmar Nini Nguyen Lee Anne Wong Jamie Lynch Jennifer Carroll Lisa Fernandes Brian Malarkey
It’s Fucking RAW! Maddy Kornhauser Gregory Gourdet Melissa King Eric Adjepong Jennifer Carroll Kevin Gillespie Nini Nguyen Angelo Sosa Brian Malarkey Joe Sasto Bryan Voltaggio Lee Anne Wong Lisa Fernandes Jamie Lynch Stephanie Cmar Karen Akunowicz
Jackson “Eddie” Fratesi Jackson Fratesi Joe Sasto Kevin Gillespie Gregory Gourdet Eric Adjepong Bryan Voltaggio Lee Anne Wong Stephanie Cmar Karen Akunowicz Lisa Fernandes Melissa King Jamie Lynch Angelo Sosa Brian Malarkey Nini Nguyen Jennifer Carroll
Let the Beet Drop Katya Myagkova Gregory Gourdet Stephanie Cmar Bryan Voltaggio Karen Akunowicz Jennifer Carroll Joe Sasto Melissa King Eric Adjepong Angelo Sosa Lee Anne Wong Nini Nguyen Brian Malarkey Lisa Fernandes Kevin Gillespie Jamie Lynch
Martha Chewart Kate Dries Eric Adjepong Lee Anne Wong Nini Nguyen Bryan Voltaggio Joe Sasto Stephanie Cmar Gregory Gourdet Melissa King Karen Akunowicz Lisa Fernandes Angelo Sosa Jamie Lynch Kevin Gillespie Brian Malarkey Jennifer Carroll
NiNi Leeks Sherry Cao Eric Adjepong Lee Anne Wong Bryan Voltaggio Joe Sasto Melissa King Karen Akunowicz Nini Nguyen Jennifer Carroll Gregory Gourdet Kevin Gillespie Lisa Fernandes Stephanie Cmar Angelo Sosa Jamie Lynch Brian Malarkey
Padma Wannabe Divya Khandke Jennifer Carroll Angelo Sosa Bryan Voltaggio Kevin Gillespie Eric Adjepong Gregory Gourdet Nini Nguyen Melissa King Jamie Lynch Lisa Fernandes Joe Sasto Lee Anne Wong Brian Malarkey Stephanie Cmar Karen Akunowicz
Quarantine? I Thought You Said Florentine! Hilary Clifford / Sam Blobaum Bryan Voltaggio Lee Anne Wong Eric Adjepong Joe Sasto Nini Nguyen Kevin Gillespie Gregory Gourdet Angelo Sosa Stephanie Cmar Jennifer Carroll Karen Akunowicz Brian Malarkey Melissa King Jamie Lynch Lisa Fernandes
Screaming 4 Acid (Hosea Fucking Sucks) Chris Issa Gregory Gourdet Bryan Voltaggio Jennifer Carroll Angelo Sosa Kevin Gillespie Stephanie Cmar Joe Sasto Lee Anne Wong Karen Akunowicz Nini Nguyen Eric Adjepong Lisa Fernandes Brian Malarkey Jamie Lynch Melissa King
Spice, Spice Baby! Jane Christen / Kelsey Edelen Jennifer Carroll Eric Adjepong Stephanie Cmar Bryan Voltaggio Angelo Sosa Nini Nguyen Melissa King Lee Anne Wong Gregory Gourdet Joe Sasto Karen Akunowicz Lisa Fernandes Jamie Lynch Kevin Gillespie Brian Malarkey
Take Me to Flavor Town Claire Jaffe Gregory Gourdet Bryan Voltaggio Stephanie Cmar Eric Adjepong Nini Nguyen Melissa King Joe Sasto Angelo Sosa Lee Anne Wong Karen Akunowicz Jennifer Carroll Brian Malarkey Lisa Fernandes Jamie Lynch Kevin Gillespie
The Gouda Lyfe Tobin Stuff Gregory Gourdet Kevin Gillespie Eric Adjepong Melissa King Joe Sasto Bryan Voltaggio Lisa Fernandes Angelo Sosa Jamie Lynch Jennifer Carroll Lee Anne Wong Brian Malarkey Karen Akunowicz Stephanie Cmar Nini Nguyen
The IncrEDIBLES Emily Blanton / Stephen Dillon Joe Sasto Melissa King Bryan Voltaggio Lee Anne Wong Stephanie Cmar Gregory Gourdet Karen Akunowicz Eric Adjepong Brian Malarkey Angelo Sosa Jennifer Carroll Jamie Lynch Nini Nguyen Kevin Gillespie Lisa Fernandes
Tom Bready Gracie Himmelstein Eric Adjepong Gregory Gourdet Nini Nguyen Bryan Voltaggio Joe Sasto Karen Akunowicz Kevin Gillespie Angelo Sosa Lee Anne Wong Melissa King Lisa Fernandes Brian Malarkey Stephanie Cmar Jamie Lynch Jennifer Carroll
Top Shelf Curry Amie Patel Stephanie Cmar Bryan Voltaggio Eric Adjepong Melissa King Nini Nguyen Joe Sasto Angelo Sosa Jennifer Carroll Lee Anne Wong Gregory Gourdet Jamie Lynch Karen Akunowicz Lisa Fernandes Brian Malarkey Kevin Gillespie
Unlimited Breadsticks Jackie Weidman Jennifer Carroll Bryan Voltaggio Eric Adjepong Nini Nguyen Gregory Gourdet Lisa Fernandes Karen Akunowicz Kevin Gillespie Melissa King Brian Malarkey Stephanie Cmar Joe Sasto Angelo Sosa Jamie Lynch Lee Anne Wong
Wake Me Up Before You Go-Gurt Eugene Chong Bryan Voltaggio Gregory Gourdet Melissa King Joe Sasto Eric Adjepong Nini Nguyen Angelo Sosa Stephanie Cmar Karen Akunowicz Lee Anne Wong Jennifer Carroll Jamie Lynch Brian Malarkey Kevin Gillespie Lisa Fernandes

References

How to Watch!

Episodes air on Bravo every Thursday at 10pm EST. You can watch live on Bravo’s website at that time or on-demand the next morning with a cable TV login. If you don’t have a login, email the league; I’m sure someone can provide one.

The season is also available for purchase on Amazon and iTunes, but again, check with others in the league for a TV login so you can watch for free.

Cheftestants

Bios for each chef can be found here.

Thank you to [@lynnandtonic](https://twitter.com/lynnandtonic “Lynn Fisher”) for the headshots!

Name Headshot Status
Eric Adjepong 👨‍🍳
Karen Akunowicz 👨‍🍳
Jennifer Carroll 👨‍🍳
Stephanie Cmar 👨‍🍳
Lisa Fernandes 👩‍🍳
Kevin Gillespie 👨‍🍳
Gregory Gourdet 👨‍🍳
Melissa King 👩‍🍳
Jamie Lynch 👨‍🍳
Brian Malarkey 👩‍🍳
Nini Nguyen 👨‍🍳
Joe Sasto ☠️
Angelo Sosa 👨‍🍳
Bryan Voltaggio 👩‍🍳
Lee Anne Wong 👨‍🍳

Rules

Scoring: The goal of the season is to have the highest Final Score. 2nd place gets $15, and the winner gets $105 (24 total players!). Your score will have two parts, each weighted equally:

  • Ranking Score: This is how closely your predictions match up with the final finishes. If you guess every chef’s finish from 1-to-16 correctly, you would have a perfect score.
    • Note that chefs eliminated early in the season may get back onto the show via Last Chance Kitchen! In that case, we will use the chef’s final position after the season has ended.
  • Episode Score: You’ll score points for every chef in your top 8 (MySpace, baby) that ends up on top in the quickfire or elimination challenge.

    • Points Awarded =

      • Quickfire Winner: \(\scriptsize (10 - ChefRank) * 2\)
      • Elimination Challenge Winner: \(\scriptsize (15 - ChefRank) * 2\)
      • Quickfire or Elimination Challenge Honorable Mentions: \(\scriptsize 10 - ChefRank\)

    • *Honorable Mentions: being in the Top 3, being on the winning team for team challenges, or getting a special shout out from the judges.

    • Chefs eliminated during an episode can still earn points from winning a quickfire that episode.

    • If there is no one winner specified in a team challenge, everyone receives honorable mention points.

    • Example: I rank Eric as 2nd overall and Jenn as 3rd overall. Eric wins the quickfire and Jenn is on top in the elimination challenge. I get 9 points from Eric (11 - 2) and 12 points from Jenn ((9 - 3) * 2).

At the end, we’ll scale everyone’s points (see below) for the two scores. Your final score will be the average of the two.

  • Final Score:
    • Scaled Final Ranking Score = \[\scriptsize 1 - \frac{YourRankingScore - min(AllRankingScores)}{max(AllRankingScores) - min(AllRankingScores)}\]
    • Scaled Episode Score = \[\scriptsize \frac{YourEpisodeScore - min(AllEpisodeScores)}{max(AllEpisodeScores) - min(AllEpisodeScores)}\]
    • Final Score = \[\scriptsize \frac{Scaled Ranking Score + Scaled Episode Score}{2}\]